I've been re-reading Julia Cameron's "The Artist's Way". Now that's a book I can read over and over again, yet still come away with wisdom that somehow seems new. I suppose one just "hears" what's most relevant to your life at the time....
In one section, Ms. Cameron writes about "wiping the mirror" - that time of change where you are letting go of old ways, and making way for the new. It's a time that things may be foggy and unclear.....what once fit, suddenly doesn't seem right anymore. It's a time to deeply listen to one's internal wisdom - one's soultruth. That's exactly where I'm at right now.
If you read my last blog post, you know I recently underwent major surgery. It was a decision I delayed making for over a year. I researched . . . I thought . . . I prayed . . . I procrastinated. Yes, I was more than a little scared. Sure, surgery is scary - especially those parts about pain, and recovery and gasp - being put to sleep.
But that wasn't really it.....well, it was and it wasn't. The scariest part was knowing I had SO much I wanted to do. Things I've dreamt of and planned - and for whatever reasons, haven't done. What if suddenly, I wasn't able to do that life?
Well, I did wake up. Now I have to make good on my bargain with the "Great Creator". . . the one I made before finally surrendering to anesthesia and faith in my brilliant doctor's skills.
Now fear is really gripping my heart. Now I have to do that life . . . I promised the Big Guy in the Sky. So I'm taking the next leap of faith and jumping in - feet first. I'm trembling. It's true.
In my last blog post, I expressed the desire to spend the year exploring my creative edge - daily painting, weekly artist dates and a major re-do of our home. I also mused about whether or not to take a blogging hiatus during this time. Now, I'm in a place that has me actually wanting to blog MORE, not less - just to document it all.
I can't say I've come to a decision, but for sure I've decided the following:
1. I will create - daily if at all possible. Painting will be my primary focus.
2. I will enjoy "artist dates" weekly, with at least 1 major date a month (ie. museum visits, art shows, etc.) This inspires me, educates me and generally, "fills the well".
3. I will re-do our home - mostly because I LOVE to do it - decor and fashion are true creative loves. AND our home could use a little TLC.
All of this must begin "softly" and increase over the next few weeks, as I'm still recovering from the surgery. My doc says I must go slowly - dang it. Even walking my "behavior-challenged" dog is risky right now, but I'm more than ready for a little risky business!