Wednesday, October 9, 2013

The Promise I Make

Wednesday, October 9, 2013
I do love October.  It may be my favorite month - April is equal in my heart, but the energies are so different.  October makes me quiet down, get still and snuggly, and pause to take in the beauty of the changing colors, cool mornings and dramatic sunsets.

April has me revving up, getting louder, more active and watching in astonishment as the world blooms.  I love both equally, but right now I am deep under a pile of blankets, propped up on pillows, soft music playing, dog in lap.  It's after 6am, and still dark and quiet.  
It's a gentle start to my day.

I want it to rain and blow like they forecast, but it hardly ever does.  The changes in season are so subtle here in southern California, one really does look forward to the rain days.

In about 10 days, I'll take a little trip further south where I'll start very early mornings at the base of a mountain, stretching cold muscles in preparation for a long dark hike up.  Heat and breathlessness will build and by the time sun rises, I'll be starting my descent with a flushed face.  This balance of cool and heat will become my routine for a week 
that I'll struggle to maintain back in the real world.

("Catching Fire", 36"x48" acrylic, ground garnet and collage on canvas)

As I write, I see dawn's first rays through my window.  The sky is a worn, faded navy with charcoal clouds floating on still gentle breezes.  Where is this rain they promise?  
Colors brighten to Payne's Gray - and now I know Mr. Payne's inspiration.  

Today, I'll be back in the studio, lost in the struggle at the easel - shall I continue on the path yesterday's painting took or throw in the curve ball of a random color or shape?

The war in my head will commence where it left off.  Is this real art?  What is real art anyway?  Why doesn't a new subject or idea or flash of inspiration come to me?  How can I find what I really want to paint?  What is that?  

Colors outside lighten now to Azure - or is Cerulean blue?

* * * * *

I've been away from the blog for well over a month. 
During that time, we've renovated our entire back yard and it was a really big job.
I love that it's ready for Fall's cool nights - you see, the barbecues never stop at this home!

I also took a major tumble and landed with a concussion that stopped EVERYTHING for some time. 
I'm well again and back at it.

During my time away, I wondered if it wasn't time to stop this blog writing.
Or perhaps start a new and different one.  
I mean when I began this blog, I don't think I was even painting yet.
Hasn't my creative life now "bloomed"?
Is it time to move on?

But I've come to the realization, that a fresh start isn't what's needed.
What's needed is a deepening of my commitment to this creative life.
So that's the promise I make to myself - with you as my witness.

I pledge to continue on this creative journey - with all the pleasures (and angst) it brings with it.
I commit to showing up to the easel, the keyboard, and the paper - daily if at all possible.
I will continue following my outrageous passions for style, interior design, creative environments,
world music, travel and reading 5 books at once.  (Because that's just who I am.)
Equally as important - I will never stop championing women artists wherever/whenever I can! 

So all that being said, I may indeed "tweak" this blog to include more of ALL THAT, 
because this is my blooming life - and while I'm planted here in this beautiful colorful Earth, 
I'll continue to grow and share my colors with you.


Margieb said...

Great post my friend. Glad you have recovered from your fall...yikes! Look forward to your expanded visions for your blog, sharing more and more with us.

Gator Girl said...

I would miss following your journey if you ever stopped writing.
Don't doubt you are an artist. It is clear as day.
Who are the people?

Tracie said...

ya know I never know who the figures are in my paintings - it's always about the feeling/energies I'm trying to express - the people? You, me and some Cosmic Cowgirls???

Bella Luna said...

Tracey Girl, I wondered what happened to you...just now checked in and so glad you are on the mend again! Oh dear! Did you decide to fall into Fall? I always see your figures as the Great Ancient Ones wanting to have voice and presence, intermingling with those us in this 21st Century. We have so much to learn from them. Keep letting them come through you, as only you can let them!
Love, Maryruthie